I think I really just needed to get all of that out there in some form or another.
In the past three days I've really just been taking a long hard look at my life. I've lost a lot in the past year. When I look back on it, I think it would have made sense for me to have taken the spring semester off and focus on getting myself together rather than consuming my time with school work. I think that's why I really hit me hard at the beginning of the week. I was finally done with school so now I had nothing to keep my mind from being reminded of the past and dwelling on it. So maybe it was a good thing, but at the same time, keeping all of that bottled in me for so long probably wasn't one of my best ideas.
Nothing is going to bring back my dad, I'll never get to do marching band again, I won't have my own space until I actually buy my own house, and I can't undo the mistakes I've made in the past. I just have to move past all of that. As hard as it may be, it's the reality of the situation. I won't move on from my dad, cause I will always miss him, but it's finally time I close my high school chapter once and for all. Maybe in the future I'll get to do marching band again somewhere else. But besides that, I'm ready to start the rest of my life, and leave all of this behind. I don't need it dragging me down anymore. They were all great memories that I will hold with me forever. But that's where they need to stay. Any hopes of bringing him to life, or reliving my memories is fruitless. But keeping the memory alive is what I need to do.
I'm still going to be inactive here since I just don't need DA anymore.
But I just wanted to end on a somewhat more happier note, and a somewhat humorous one since it took me a full year to graduate.